The Man, Myth, Legend

My best friend, Frank, was married on October 6th, 2007. I was asked to be the Best Man, which required me to toast the newlyweds at the reception. This is what I came up with:

Fornication such as this… Excuse me, I mean “For An Occasion such as this…”

Ladies and Gentlemen, I would like to thank you all for coming today to share in the joy and happiness of Jeni and Frank’s wedding. My name is David Kenny, and I am proud to be the first to toast the new bride and groom.

This is the first time I’ve had to give a toast and a wise man told me that my speech should only be as long as the groom can make love…. In conclusion.

Two year ago next month, Frank and I were in opposite shoes. I was lucky in the fact that Frank is not a stellar public speaker, so the toast he gave was actually prepared by me. Lucky for you today that I don’t have the same problem. I may kid, but actually I am honored to return the favor today. Traditionally, I would be called the Best man, but of course today, the best man is Frank, and it would be more accurate to call me the better than average man. I consider Frank my best friend and I’m glad that he asked me to be a part of their special day.

Frank and I have been friends now for several years…and I believe our friendship is what it is because of the similarities in our lives… we both were in the military, we both have dealt with tragedy in our lives, and we both have found the love of our lives right here in Ridgecrest.

I don’t know Jeni as well as I know Frank, but I know one important thing about her. She has made Frank happier than I have ever seen him. Frank, you are very lucky to have found such a wonderful woman to share your life with. Jeni, in the time that I have known Frank, he has proven himself to be not only a good friend, but a good man as well and I’m positive that he will be a great husband to you, and a wonderful father to Caleb.

Frank will tell you that he met Jeni at a high school reunion, but they actually met several months earlier when Bob, Frank’s dad, was in the hospital, and Jeni was one of his attending nurses in the ICU. Even from his sickbed, through all the medication, or maybe because of it, Bob could see what a good match these two would make. It only took Frank another couple of months to realize it himself.

All kidding aside…

These two people have come together today to form a marriage that will surely last forever. [If I could have everyone raise your glass] Jeni and Frank, today I wish you a lifetime of Love, Laughter and Happiness as husband and wife…Cheers.

Last Saturday, my best friend got married. I was their best man, and made sure that I lived up to that title. Ring pops at the ceremony instead of the wedding bands, a great toast at the reception, and of course… pranks on the newlyweds. To begin with, I was able to gain access to the bridal suite the morning of the wedding where there bed was short sheeted. We also left rose petals and a bottle of champagne (I’m not that big a jerk). During the reception, the groom’s brother and I taped plastic to the inside of the side windows and windshield, and filled the void between with packing peanuts so the car looked like it had been completely filled. Then, the happy couple were off to Hawaii for their honeymoon, but….

They forgot that I had a key to the groom’s house:

Since they plan to move into her house, and sell his, I thought some remodeling was in order so I drywalled his hallway and blocked off his master bedroom, guest rooms, and office. They arrived home this morning at 8:30 am after a red-eye flight and a 3 hour drive back from the airport to find what I had done. Heh heh heh. It is a good thing that they have a sense of humor, or I’d probably be dead right about now.

On October 8th, after only seven flights, the Corsair has had a catastrophic flight control failure, which led to an unrecoverable crash. Although the airframe was severely damaged, the engine and radio are intact. The R/C NTSB are investigating. It was a sad day for me, and I thought that I would never be able to see this awesome warbird fly again since the manufacturer no longer produces this model. However, this past weekend my wife happened to locate another airframe while down in Los Angeles. Needless to say, the “Bruce Deuce” will hopefully take to the skies before the end of the year.